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A few years ago, a national solution of conflicts, an informal association, for-fun poll on the streets of Washington, DC. They asked passers-by, the definition of mediation by a multiple-choice list. good news is that the majority of people correctly, "" a way of settling disputes. "" The bad news is that more than a few wrong people elected, "" relaxation method "," (Meditation) "" an opportunity to communicate with the dead "," (about a medium, I suppose) "when the media uses the private lives of public figures, and worst of all," "The wall separates the two sides Highway "(median).
Of course, the teaching profession has some of the educational work to be done. One way this comes home regularly to me is through the mediation myths I hear again and again. The following are the most common myths I have to, and I hope the record straight for me and my fellow agents ... uh, uh ... Media, Median ...
Myth: mediators determine who is right or whose case is strongest.
Reality: Mediators do not act like a judge capacity and can not decide who is right or wrong. Mediators are "content neutral" and not take sides. We will help the participants opportunities to resolve the dispute through negotiations, to facilitate and help the conversation unfold differently than it has in the past.
Myth: Going to mediation means I have to compromise, so I must give something, or with less than I want.
Reality: While compromise is a result of mediation, not assume it is the automatic consequence. An experienced mediator helps the participants explore creative, win-win options that may have been invisible from the mediated conversation, what the results, which are often more satisfying than simplistic compromise.
Myth: The mediator has expertise in the content area of my dispute.
Reality: A qualified intermediary does not need expertise in the substance of the dispute, whether it is real estate, marriage, information technology, education or any other arena. Our expertise lies in the settlement of disputes. It is not part of the mediators responsible for proposals to resolve the dispute, but we call the conflict in a way that the surface Help options and are creative. Too much familiarity with the mediator content of the dispute actually detrimental, because the safety of these breeds can accidentally into the mediator's-and-route. Your own knowledge of the dispute is far more than the mediator can have so that you are in a better position as the right tools and the ability to imagine and craft their own resolution.
Myth: Mediation is me "" Give me my case. ""
Reality: While most placements are not with a legal case that you often have attorneys present for the meeting. In these cases, it is not unusual for lawyers to voice this concern. As lawyers and their clients often discover in my placements, however, is that the drive to build a strong legal case can inadvertently put up barriers to the parties in resolving the matter even if it allows the exchange of ideas and information with one another. Mediation is much more effective if the participants openly and honestly. In fact, with the hand "is important to a certain extent because it helps you understand better, hear better and creates an opportunity for better solutions. At the same time, the transfer within the participants and nobody is forced to provide information which they wish to keep private.
Myth: There is no sense of mediation, because I already know I'm right.
Reality: You can feel it's your actions and beliefs and still have a problem, because the other person usually feels they are right. And there is not about the placement determining who is right or wrong, you have the opportunity to save time, energy and money by focusing instead on how to solve the problem and move on with your life.
Myth: If we do not talk to each other, it is impossible to be together in mediation.
Reality: When we come into conflict with someone, it is true that our ability to communicate effectively can sometimes be significantly reduced. Mediators are trained professionals who know how to help people speak, to work, the differences, although the gap is big and heavy. Also, it is not uncommon for mediations, if two or more of the participants have not spoken with each other, after some time or have been spoken, but effective. And while most of the mediation in this country is done with everyone in the same room where the participants really can not share space safely and effectively, it is always possible to mediate between the participants in a separate room ... or even in different countries, in this new age of online dispute resolution.
© Copyright 2004 and 2006 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.
Dr. Tammy Lenski teaches individuals and groups, such as untangle disagreements and build dynamic personal and professional partnerships by engaging conflict effectively.
In practice successfully since 1997, Tammy has taught mediation and conflict resolution to hundreds of bachelor's, master's and doctoral students; trained workplace teams in the U.S.; trained executives, senior teams and couples in the art of effective conflict resolution and communicates complex business involved in disputes in the workplace and in large and small organizations.
Her book, Making Mediation Your Day Job "," was released in January 2008 and is available in all major online book retailers. Tammy writes extensively about conflict, coaching, conflict management and resolution on Zen, where you have 400 articles to jump-start your own dialogues at work and at home, and where you can create a free copy of Talking in ten, Tammy's worksheet and Guide to help you think and prepare for your difficult conversations.
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