Comedian Robin Williams once said," Oh, yes, divorce ... from Latin and means to rip a man's genitals through his wallet. "While extreme, it is an unfortunate perspective of many men, if they bear the emotional and financial burdens on the dissolution of a marriage.
With an estimated 50% of all marriages ending in divorce and a pervasive attitude that the courts do not always make decisions that are gender neutral, men are often relegated to feeling of powerlessness in the face of the legal system.
While the financial consequences of divorce are certainly of great importance to men, it is often child custody issues, the greatest stress. With the U.S. Census Bureau reported that five of the six parents to prison are mothers, many fathers are not only dealing with the emotional and financial burden of divorce, but also with the difficulty of fighting to reach the sole or joint custody of his children.
The National Center for Health Statistics reported that "children grow up without a father present, even if adjustments for income, are 75% more to need professional assistance for emotional problems, twice as likely to repeat a class of school, and often a variety of other disorders such as anxiety, peer conflict, and hyperactivity. "
Other statistics are just as alarming. According to the Centers for Disease Control, 90% of all homeless and runaway children from fatherless homes and the National Principals Association Report on the status of high schools that 71% of all high school dropouts from homes where there is no father present. Perhaps most shocking is the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reported that 63% of youth suicides are from children who have no paternal influence in their lives.
During his many years of experience as a family law practitioner, David Pisarra, Esq. has the hard men of the injustices in divorce and child custody as well as the often negative effects on children. This experience led him to the Men's Legal Center in Santa Monica, CA, to better contribute to the special needs of men in the field of family law.
"It is not true that men not only in the fight against the potentially devastating financial consequences associated with divorce, but also against social prejudices in regard to their children." Sagt Pisarra, which advocates joint custody and responsibility. "Paternity is the most important relationship a man can have and the idea that women are automatically better than caretakers simply do not hold weight in today's society."
Although it is usually in the best interests of children of divorced parents to have both parents, in their lives, a surprisingly high number of mothers do not feel the same way. The American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, courage Sanford, Ph.D. notes that 40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the father's visitation rights to punish their ex-spouses and Judith Kelly wrote in her groundbreaking book "Survival in the resolution" that more than half of all mothers see no value in the fathers continued with his children.
"It is an enormous difference, a" father, "Who is a checkbook and a" daddy ", the love and support," says Pisarra. "I wish to advise that men no more than a day actively involved in their children's lives even limited to women annoying or wrong decisions."
So, what are some of the considerations men must be aware of when entering into a custody battle? Pisarra said that to demonstrate an active involvement in a child's life goes a long way for the establishment of a man's credibility as a parent. "We recommend to the standard criteria such as job security and the credit rating, but also factors that are strong parents. Notes for teachers and school counselors, the proof of participation in their children and the participation of the community show that court the kind of parents a man was and will continue to be. "
Another growing problem is that the paternity fraud when the mother of a child alleges that a man is the biological father of her child without him or the court that someone else could also be the father. Currently there are no federal laws to ensure full disclosure of all relevant facts relating to the alleged father and the men are forced to pay child support for another man the child. Those who do not comply are punitive damages and even jail time.
In 2000, the American Association of Blood Banks reported that in nearly 30% percent of the paternity test was concluded that the man in the test phase is not the biological father. While some states have laws related to release of paternity fraud and men are not the fathers of other court decisions, as Pisarra home state of California, a policy with the conditions.
"The current California law states that unmarried men are in default judgments have only six months to fatherhood while men who are explanations under the erroneous assumption that they are the fathers only have two years to the ensuing verdict" Pisarra says. Of course, a man who does not know of any impropriety on the woman is a part can blindly along thinking he is the biological father, and there was full financial responsibility if the child is his or not.
"I would think that any honorable person would find the manipulation used by some women to receive financial support in this way is absolutely appalling," says Pisarra, with countless "misled" Dad's. "He adds:" Women are not only impact on people's lives, by the eighteen years of child support and the obligation for what they know is a lie, but also a strong influence on their children, perhaps not always aware that her real father is. "
Some advice offers Pisarra men who have doubts about their alleged paternity is a legal paternity test does not sign the birth certificate or affidavit of paternity to learn the test results and make sure that all documents carefully before signing. Even if paternity papers on all court orders instantly to avoid a default verdict.
There is no question that men faced with a difficult and challenging time in terms of the custody and must be prepared to fight for the right of a parent company as well as be prepared to protect against paternity fraud. Unfortunately, what often gets lost in the dispute about money is what is best for the child. Therein lies the real tragedy.
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